Tofu Makes Me Angry

Here's a list of things which I think are stupid:

• Tofu hot dogs
• Tofu turkey

I'll eat tofu sometimes, but only if it's been fried or something in meaty, animal fat. And it has to be in a dish alongside other real meat like chicken or pork. Even then I usually just peel away the fried parts and throw away the slimy, oozy centers. That stuff is just gross. There's a guy I work with who eats tofu for lunch sometimes but when he does I try to sit at least one seat away from him because he's eating tofu and also he makes inappropriate comments.